have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Fuck appropriateness.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
