just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
