he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
