So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
