I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
