My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We don't watch enough power rangers
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
