ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
