when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
