i don't plan on having that self control this summer
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
