Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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