the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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