So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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