found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
