That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
