in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
