um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
