Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
how drunk are you?
Several
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
