I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
