I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
