I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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