I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just want to make out with him forever
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
