She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
