just come out here and I will go home with you...
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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