So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
