sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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