I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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