This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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