Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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