I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
