Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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