Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
