Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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