i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I'm passing your future prison.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
