There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize