He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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