I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
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We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
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he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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