"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Houston, we have a blender
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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