Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
