I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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