Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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