You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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