You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
