THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
