He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
