All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
