About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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