We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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