well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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