I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Randomize
