i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
