It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
