Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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