You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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