I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
