where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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