She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We have started to decorate penises.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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