youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
