i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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