i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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