Pappa wants mamma naked
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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