I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
