I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
