what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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