i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
